Picking Up the Pieces

Recovering from heartbreak can be an extremely difficult thing to do. People hear about breakups all the time, but I don’t think people really understand how damaging heartbreak can really be. The pain is real and most definitely hurtful. The effect it takes on your body is agonizing. Now I know some may think that’s a little extreme, but its not. Some women can bounce back after a breakup, for me I was emotionally and physically sick after the relationship ended. The number one question I asked myself was, what went wrong? What did I do? (For some reason women tend to ALWAYS blame themselves). I started having flashback’s and replayed all the situations that led up to the breakup and how I could of handle things differently. I was trying to make sense of the way things ended. It’s not like I could call him and ask why he turned into a complete jerk after the breakup (I want to use another word, but I’m a child of God 😊). I had to stop trying to rationalize why he left, it was causing more damage to my self-esteem and heart. Now I had to figure out who I was before the relationship and who I was going to be after the relationship came to an end.

First thing I had to do was grieve. I kept telling myself to be strong. Don’t think about him and don’t you cry over that worthless man. Truth is that was hard to do. It was easier said than done. I loved him. I missed him. Why? I don’t know I just did. I had to understand for me to move on, get closure, and heal I had to let it all out. I didn’t want family, friends, or co-workers telling me how I should feel or give me a timeline of when I should be over him. I was doing this for me no one else. During the healing process I wanted to work on MYSELF. That was the problem in my life. It was all about him for five years. Because of that my goals disappeared, self-esteem was extremely low, lost some friends, and the most detrimental thing I did to myself was lose my relationship with God. I am so ashamed to admit that. I needed serious help. Over the years I put a man before God. I had lost myself. It was now time to get up off the ground and dedicate my life to be a better Christian, increasing my faith, having a relationship with God, getting rid of ANYTHING negative, changing my attitude, letting stuff go, working out more, moving up in my career, setting and accomplishing goals, and GETTING OFF MY PHONE! Yes, my phone! For some reason I go to my phone for absolutely everything. Instead, I now go to the bible and pray. I was a somebody before him. I had high self-esteem before him. I was happy before him. And I was most definitely loved before him.

I know how difficult it must be to be rejected by the man you love. I know how it feels to cry every night. I know how it feels not to have an appetite. I know how it feels to be depressed, sad, angry, and hurt. I know how it feels to be confused. I know how it feels to have your heart broken and wonder how in the world am I going to move on. I am not telling you it is going to be easy. It will be hard to move and not think about him. It will be hard not to give in and just call or text him. If it was easy for him to walk away, you know he was not the one. He was a painful and long lesson for you, be grateful that it happened no telling where you would be if you were still with him. Let it out girl. Cry. Grieve. Be sad, depressed, and mad if you want too. But after its done find yourself. Most importantly turn to God. It is so easy to find answers from friends, family, social media, or even on tv and even though it might be good advice it doesn’t compare to what God has to say. Schedule time just for you. Make a list of things you want to do. Whether it’s going back to school, taking a vacation, or starting your own business it is now all about you. And while you’re doing that trust God and the will He has for you. Know that better is coming later.