Why Him?

I always asked myself out of all the guys I ever dated and been with why him? Why was it so hard for me to move on from him? I had been in a few relationships with decent guys and even though it didn’t work out with them I was able to move on. My ex was different, I’m not sure if it was because he was attractive, I had been with him throughout most of my twenties, I did so much for him, or because of my ego. I didn’t want to feel like I wasted so many years with him. Whatever it was, it was difficult to move on from him.

There are some women like my best friend who ended her relationship with her boyfriend and was back in a relationship a month later. Her new boyfriend was a very nice, loving, and a respectable man. They hit it off right away, I just couldn’t understand how she could move on so fast and get into a new relationship and I was still depressed over my ex. Why couldn’t I be like my friend and move on after a month and meet a nice guy? Why is it some women can move on after a couple of weeks or a month and its taking me a year. I started to think something was wrong with me. Why was I so stuck on him??? I had to really think about it.

I noticed when we broke up I started to play victim, I started to blame him for everything. I started to regret everything I did for him, the love I had for him, putting my all into the relationship, and I was mad for wasting so many years with him when I could have been with someone else probably married with children. All those emotions came after the breakup, during the breakup I was in love, I had a good time when I was with him, sure we had our problems but what couple doesn’t, I had to do some self-reflecting. The relationship didn’t end because it was all his fault I played a part in it too. It’s easy to point fingers when the relationship ends but both parties must own to their faults that’s the only way you can find peace and make the transition to move on.

I had to stop asking myself why him and understand that God places people in your life for a reason. My ex was placed in my life to teach me of what to now look for in a man, how I should be treated, and finding a man who will love and worship God. I prayed to God that He would show me who this man was and to bless me with a good man. He showed me who my ex was and he was not the one. The man I had loved and still loved, the man I gave my heart to, the man I saw a future with of becoming my husband and the father of my children was not the one for me.

A breakup feels like a death. It is painful, emotional, and depressing. It feels like the world is ending, but it’s not. God doesn’t take away something without replacing it with something better. Don’t hold the next guy hostage because of what your ex did, there are plenty of good man out there you must be willing to give him a chance. God has a man out there specifically for you. A good man can’t come in your life if you’re not ready or a mess. God is waiting for you to be emotionally ready, focus on your well-being, and gaining a better relationship with Him. God will send you the right one, He will send someone God fearing, faithful, and loyal. Be patient and work on you and the one meant for you will come.