I had a young woman ask me, “are all your articles going to be about male bashing”? Wow. All the articles that I have written so far, the only thing she got out of it was that I was supposedly “male bashing”. Not the pain I went through, the devastation I felt when my relationship ended, me wanting to end my life, crying being a part of my daily routine, how lost I was, and how I made the terrible mistake of making a man my life. There is not one article where I criticized or put down men. Not one! Because I’m telling women how not to make a man your life, not to settle, sharing the mistakes I made, and how being a ride or die is not worth it I’m “male bashing”??? I’m doing something that is not easy for me to do. I brave to share what I went through with my ex. But I have to say, this is exactly why women in Christ do not feel comfortable sharing what sins they are struggling with because of comments and questions like this. And yes, this question was asked by a young woman from church.
It’s not easy for me to share my stories. I have to relieve and bring up painful memories, have people look at me differently, be judged, and so much more. My last relationship almost ruined me. I did not have my own identity. I was lost. I value myself. I needed my ex to validate me. I literally hit rock bottom. I had to wake up and work on me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally because I was a complete mess. I share my stories, so they can be inspiration for other women who are facing or have faced the same thing I have experienced. Heartbreak is real and hurts. Bad. When you go through heartache absolutely nothing else matters. My ex damaged me. And that is difficult for me to admit and share. But it’s the truth. When my relationship ended I was dealing with so many emotions and I was trying to rush through the pain because that’s what I was being told by friends or I was to ashamed and embarrassed to let anyone know how much I was aching. So, I put on a fake smile even though I was dying inside. I felt stupid, dumb, used, unloved, and alone. I absolutely loved that man and was willing to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING for him. I wanted to make and keep him happy. Unfortunately, this man did not have the same love for me. I didn’t realize I was settling. At that time of my life I didn’t know I deserved better. I was too scared (yes scared) to find if better was out there. In the beginning, I was devastated when he walked out of my life. But I took it one day at a time and I soon realized a huge weight was lifted. I had no regrets. My relationship was a lesson and I’m grateful for it.
No one knows how hard this was for me to start a blog and pretty much put all my personal business out there (yes, my love life is personal business). But I did. And I’m glad I did. I have struggled with, “What will people think?”, “Will people talk about me?”, “Judge me?” Instead I realized that God will use His children to be blessings for others. God is definitely using me as a blessing to other women. Yes, I talk about heartbreak a lot. And I will continue to talk about it because it is serious. That’s exactly what this blog is about. Heartbreak and love hits home for a lot of women. I am child of God. Born and raised in the church, but I am not perfect. I made a dangerous mistake of putting a man before my faith and there may be other women who can relate, and therefore I share my stories. I want to be an inspiration to other women. If you are tired of me talking about how I dealt with heartbreak, how I lost myself, still dealing with pain, and heartbreak in general than this is not the blog for you. If you’re going to judged this is not the blog for you. If you’re going to make other women feel bad for the mistakes they’ve made this is not the blog for you. Sorry just being honest. There are so many broken women out there. Especially in the church. But they feel scared and ashamed to come forward and talk to someone because unfortunately family and people at church are extremely judgmental. I want to say you are not alone. I have been exactly where you are, and it took me a looooooong time to heal and love myself. I hope you find inspiration and motivation in my posts. Please feel free to reach out to me. Leave suggestions and comments positive or negative everyone has opinions and can learn from one another. Remember to let go and let God have control.