Don’t you do it! Don’t you Stalk your Ex!

Don’t do it! Don’t you dare go on his Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat!!! Don’t even create a fake page or account to snoop on his page either! You will regret it. I promise you will regret it. It will be the most painful, horrible, awful, dreadful, and horrendous (no I’m not exaggerating) thing you will have ever done (well maybe not ever, but you know what I mean). I know after a breakup you feel like you still don’t have answers. You are still trying to figure out what went wrong or what you did wrong. Now your left playing a special agent trying to investigate what you did and what he did wrong, what he is up to, who he is dating and if she is pretty, and how you guys can get back together. You don’t have to go too far to find these answers. Social media is just a laptop or cellphone away. Yes, it is EXTREMELY tempting, but once go snooping you will find exactly what you’re looking for and end up a lot worse than before. Stalking your ex social media will not only make you miss him more but possibly have you contacting him to take you back which is a huge mistake.

Most women believe they can finally close the chapter or find peace if they know what their ex is doing and they can finally let go and move on. Unfortunately, that won’t happen. How do I know? I was that girl. After I broke up with my ex I wanted to see if he was dating or talking to other females. I went on his Instagram and Facebook and to my surprise I didn’t see him with anyone. All I saw was selfies of him at clubs, restaurants, and at the gym. Now just because I didn’t see pictures of another female on his page doesn’t mean he wasn’t talking to anyone. However, after I got through stalking (ugh this word makes me sound crazy lol) him I felt so lost, confused, angry, crying profusely, and nausea (do you see the degree of how a heartbreak can make you feel?). Just seeing his pictures made me miss being around him. Even though he was a jerk at times I don’t know what it was about him that I could not let go. I would debate whether I should call or text or should I wait for him to do it. But then I thought if I wait for him he may never call or text me. I was realizing stalking him was making crazy and emotionally sick. So, I didn’t do it. I know that’s what he would have expected, for me to contact him first because in his mind he knew I would come crawling back. While snooping online I realized I wasted 15, 20, or sometimes 30 minutes of my life concentrating on what this man was doing. And within those minutes I was getting more and more angry and frustrated which was having me hold on to pain. This was embarrassing. Even though I didn’t tell people I was stalking him this was pathetic for me to be doing this. I was spying on his life when I should have been focusing on my own. Yes, I loved that man a lot. A lot a lot. And no matter how much he hurt me, he will always have a special place in my heart. If I had continued to play investigator I was never going to be able to move on until I stopped being obsessed over what was no longer mine. I was destructing my own happiness.

Ask yourself what is the point of going on his social media? What will stalking him on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat do for you? Will it make you feel better? Will you get money or a reward? Do you want to see if he is in another relationship? If so, why does it matter? At the end of the day he is not with you. I know it hurts and it’s hard to fully comprehend that he has moved on (trust I have been there) but you must stop worrying about what he is doing and start focusing on you. It’s easier said than done, but take baby steps. Start by unfollowing him on everything, deleting all texts messages, and even photos. You don’t need anything that will remind you of him that could possibly lead you to contacting him. Tracking down his every move online will not get you answers or a solution. Its time to move on boo. Don’t allow one man to make you go crazy when there are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many other men out there. If God wanted you with him you would still be in a relationship. God knows you’re hurting and you may not understand why because I didn’t, I couldn’t understand why this happened I was good to him, but look at the signs that God is giving you and don’t say you don’t see them because they are there. God doesn’t want you running back to someone He allowed to walk away. Stop stalking your ex and start focusing on your goals and faith. A relationship with God is the key to success.